Love
Just this one word and many different images pop into our heads. I'm talking about romantic love.
Why is something so wonderful so complicated at the same time? When everything goes well, especially in the beginning it is the best thing ever but when there is no longer that love between the same two individuals it turns into a nightmare? Can we change this pattern?
I had the most wonderful relationship with my husband. We were best friends, although I never did think of him as my soulmate. We loved each other VERY much, and because we were best friends, we shared almost everything with each other and we did almost everything with each other. There was trust and honesty and we gave each other enough space to be ourselves. Seems perfect right? Nothing could possibly go wrong with our very much admired relationship. WRONG!
Something did still go wrong, and I guess for two people so close to break up, it had to happen for this reason alone. Instead of trying to make things better I fought with him a lot, instead of for him. This only made the crack between us a giant hole. We became enemies.
Then came someone else I lost my heart to. This one was no boyfriend, although he kind of filled that part where I had lost my best friend. A little similar to my previous relationship, I shared my life stories with him, we had our candle light dinners, dancing, hanging out with friends, short holidays. I did not need a man in my life as long as I just had this part fulfilled. We had our arguments and making up. He was my soulmate!
At the back of my mind, I knew the day would come when he had to leave since there was no obligation between us to stay. That day came when he told me he met someone. They were to be married. I felt so lost. I knew I had to let him go but I did not want to. I told myself not to fight and chase him away. I just made the best of the time I had with him. I did not want to end up as enemies.
This made me wonder if I had just been calmer and not fight with my husband, would our marriage have lasted? When we love, is it because he loves me back? Is it possible to love your partner even if his love for you has died? Love is after all an emotion, it may not be there today but by being patient and working on the little things that matter, working on ourselves by reflecting on whether we have changed and pushed that person away, will that love develop again? Instead of saying I want him to do this first then I will return the favour, would it help to put ego aside and take that first step? At least in the end, we know we have tried and it would be easier to let go if nothing works.
NOTE: I'm not suggesting anyone stays in an abusive relationship.
Friday, 28 March 2014
Saturday, 1 March 2014
Silent Mornings
Sunday Mornings..no in fact it's every morning that I crave this quiet solitude. The only time when the world doesn't seem to exist!
Oh I forgot to mention that it's because no one in their right mind would give up the comfort of their beds at an unearthly hour just to sit and enjoy a cup of coffee.
So what do I do during these precious moments? I don't plan my day! I just enjoy the peace, the quiet, the 'doing nothing'.
You see..the world wakes up when my two kids wake up. The quiet household then feels like a mini nursery with them screaming at each other and shouting out 'Mummy!' a million times. All this while getting ready for school.
The non stop talking lasts till I drop them off to school and rush off to work in a crowded train. The minute I step into school (I work as a teacher) It's the exchange of morning greetings and my day continues with handling my students. Then, it's no longer "Mummy!" but "Teacher!!! He did this and he did that!"
You would think that once back home I have my quiet time again, but its no longer quiet in my head as the daily chores need to get done, I reflect on the day's events and what is to be done the next day! Before you know it the kids are back and it's back to the morning chaos, this time with homework and noise from the computer and television!
I don't get my quiet time at bed too since my son only stops talking when he sleeps and by then I am too exhausted to enjoy anything...
And so..I look forward to the next morning when I get to have my precious quiet time while the world sleeps - just to smell my coffee and listen to nothing!
Oh I forgot to mention that it's because no one in their right mind would give up the comfort of their beds at an unearthly hour just to sit and enjoy a cup of coffee.
So what do I do during these precious moments? I don't plan my day! I just enjoy the peace, the quiet, the 'doing nothing'.
You see..the world wakes up when my two kids wake up. The quiet household then feels like a mini nursery with them screaming at each other and shouting out 'Mummy!' a million times. All this while getting ready for school.
The non stop talking lasts till I drop them off to school and rush off to work in a crowded train. The minute I step into school (I work as a teacher) It's the exchange of morning greetings and my day continues with handling my students. Then, it's no longer "Mummy!" but "Teacher!!! He did this and he did that!"
You would think that once back home I have my quiet time again, but its no longer quiet in my head as the daily chores need to get done, I reflect on the day's events and what is to be done the next day! Before you know it the kids are back and it's back to the morning chaos, this time with homework and noise from the computer and television!
I don't get my quiet time at bed too since my son only stops talking when he sleeps and by then I am too exhausted to enjoy anything...
And so..I look forward to the next morning when I get to have my precious quiet time while the world sleeps - just to smell my coffee and listen to nothing!
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